#muse: salter

[gainprincess]

Staring at a burger the size of her skull.

She may begin inhaling it now. She might keep staring. It honestly depends on how many people she can show up by devouring it in 2 bites.

[anime-bxuty]

"Are you saying you don't want to be fucked Ishtar? You are a goddess of sexual love aren't you? You haven't been fucked since you ended up in the dog house," Salter replied with a chuckle as she had been watching.

"Medusa, Ishtar, I want your help with a favor. It involves Nitocris," Salter gave both girls a look while she stood with the pharaoh in question.

The two servants look at each other, Ishtar raising a hand. "Does this mean I'm out of the dog house for making the snake cry like a bitch?"

Medusa hits the Archer.

[scifielves]

Girl who gets leashed

[fantasybots]

Burger...

[gainprincess]

There's an expression on her face that's hard to quantify. It's somewhere jammed between seething, rising and completely fucking fake hatred, shocked lust, building up in the core of her greedy gut, their chests mashing together as the bottom-heavy king fights her urge to squirm...

and pure, unabashed love, so strong and forceful that it's making her pupils shift into hearts, lips wet with her own spit as she tries to remember how to swallow.

They can't do this here. For the sake of morals and the fact that if she breaks and starts making out with her girlfriend's navel in public, her rep would be ruined.

"Fuck me, you are perfect, you snail-eating cunt..."

She grins.

"My room. You can stay the night, can't you?"

This is a fucking challenge.

And Artoria hates losing, especially to her irreplaceable lover French bitch of a rival.

Challenge accepted.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!~"

Her gas buildup is immense, and she's not usually one to hold it in, but when Jeanne is taunting her like this...well, it's worth digging into her stockpile. She's pretty sure she heard a fucking window shatter somewhere in the complex from that herculean belch, and she's at least managed to knock the white-haired woman's hair back if nothing else...

...Why did she REALLY LIKE DOING THAT?

[camelotfallen]

Karp, your Saber Alter roleplay is like watching someone put the “try” in try-hard. It’s like you saw the word "dark" in the Fate lore and decided, “Yep, that’s my entire personality now.” We get it, she’s edgy and angsty, but do you really need to make every post sound like she’s one bad day away from releasing her own black metal album? There’s a fine line between staying true to the character and writing dialogue so stiff it feels like it was copy-pasted from a 2005 DeviantArt OC profile.

You lean so hard into the "dark knight" aesthetic that it’s a wonder Saber Alter hasn’t just collapsed under the weight of all that edge. Every interaction reads like she’s contractually obligated to remind everyone how tragic and menacing she is. God forbid anyone tries to have a normal conversation with her—your muse responds with the emotional range of a brick dipped in motor oil. Lighten up! Not every post needs to feel like the literary equivalent of a storm cloud.

Let’s talk about her combat posts for a second. Why does every fight scene feel like it’s trying to win an award for Most Over-the-Top Edgy Description? We get it—she’s powerful and dark, but do her attacks really need to sound like they’re destroying the fabric of reality every single time? Sometimes less is more, but apparently, that concept doesn’t exist in your roleplaying dictionary. Saber Alter could sneeze in your posts, and you’d describe it like it tore open a void in the universe.

Also, can we address the fact that she’s somehow managed to have zero personality outside of being angry or brooding? I’m convinced that if someone handed her a puppy, she’d just glare at it and monologue about the futility of joy. It’s like you’re allergic to giving her any dimension beyond “tragic anti-hero,” and it’s honestly impressive how much you’ve doubled down on keeping her as one-note as possible. At this point, even her sword probably feels emotionally neglected.

In conclusion, your Saber Alter roleplay is the most “edgelord” thing I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something considering this fandom. You’ve turned her into a caricature of darkness that’s so over-the-top it’s practically comedic. But hey, at least you’re consistent! If nothing else, you’ve mastered the art of making a character with endless potential feel like she’s been written into a corner—and somehow, that’s its own kind of talent.

Alright, homework grading time.

So, first things first. I know you're probably someone i know with some familiarity, so, I get the Anon Mask. Don't want people givin you flak for this, even though frankly, the fact you're on anon to begin with makes me give less than a rats shit about whatever it is you're saying. -10 points, not off to a good start.

Second, I can tell you're familiar with the surface level of what I do here. Congrats, you can skim. Good on ya. You've also shown me that you also don't actually understand Salter like you're claiming I do. The girl is an 'Edge-Lord' on a surface level purely, and I dont blame you for not being able to look past it. For all intents and purposes, as far as FGO is concerned, she's just that: an angry, gluttonous one off joke. Edgy Artoria. Its how she's presented in most media you find her in. And in truth, theres really not all that much to work with her. She's just Artoria whos been corrupted by the Grail. Which means what you can say about Salter you can say about Artoria, because they're still the same person but without the restraint.

Third: you have not actually read the growth of her as a character under my writing. A lot, if not most of it, has been done so with one @miraruinada and my other good pal an writing partner, Vibe. She's grown from the archetype she was into an actual individual with thoughts, wants, hopes and dreams. She's thrown away her crown in both a literal and metaphorical sense and broken away from the chains of obligation and duty that come with it. Salter has learned to open up, in her own way, to others. Is she gonna be personal and friendly to everyone? Of course not. Because she's never been allowed to be an actual person (which is canon motherfucker~) or feel or understand others because she had to be a King before absolutely anything else. Her life was constant war and campaigning, backstabbing from her sister, betrayal, an insurmountable wall of opposition handed to her by her father and his own colossal fuck ups that she still fought tooth an nail against.

Of course she's gonna be emotionally stunted and have to grow. Of course her conversations are going to be fucking weird. Have you even played Artoria's route in FSN? Hell, that whole thing was about humanizing her again. Salt's having to go through that herself, but with the extra weight of her own personal timeline compounding onto the fact.

Fourth: i have not, in fact, wrote a single proper fight scene as Salter in my tenure on this blog. The only time i've even come close to that would probably be her lashing out on my previous blog, which i assume is where you came from to get that kind of idea. Besides, have you even seen Heaven's Feel movies or her animations? Every swing she does to begin with is maximum effort with full intent to kill behind every blow. She's a powerhouse in a five foot nothing body that no diffed Heracles in Heaven's Feel and obliterated a meteor in Shinjuku.

Fifth: You really dont read my posts, at all dood. One look, again, at her interactions with @miraruinada would prove that. Her interactions with @avaloniamagus's Merlin, whom she regards as her proper father figure. @rake-rake's Oberon, with whom she's form a bond with, learning from his dramatics and finding comfort in family that she never knew. I could go on, and on, and on, but, that'd be givin you more time an attention than i've already given, or that you deserved my guy.

in review:

Suck my fat girl nuts an go touch some grass my guy.

[gainprincess]

Artoria has become less... tyrannical, since being summoned to this 'Chaldea'. She's even found herself making friends. And not neglecting Mordred some of the time.

No lover, yet, though.

Unless her strange, strange dreams of making out with that other Alter over a pile of food count.

[gainprincess]

"Of fucking course you are. Because you're a good piggy.~"

Salter shoves her hand down as she starts funneling slices of pizza, massive burgers, and greasy fries into Jalter's hungry maw every moment. She doesn't care about the glutton's ability to keep up. Her greedy girlfriend is finally giving into her impulses and letting Salter treat her like the needy glutton slut she knows she is...She can't waste this chance.~

gainprincess​:

“Why the fuck are you just sitting here? Beg for more, fatass. Come on, show me how bad you need me to stuff your fucking face.”

Salter places another piece of pizza at Jalter’s lips, pressing a kiss to her second chin as she does.

“I want you to get so big that you can barely move…then I’ll force you to force-feed me until I’m near-bursting in return. Are. We. Clear?”

“C-Can I have some more, please… I-I’ll make you fatter, I’ll make you huge, I’m just…”

Groaning as her hands went to her belly, rubbing it and shaking it against her lap as she huffed, the Avenger moaned with gluttonous need.

“So hungry…”

[scifielves]

She's gonna make out with Jalter even HARDER now. Just to piss all of her alternates off.

[fantasybots]

"Insert your presents into the bag. Gift cards will also suffice."

[kerbxros-spined]

2. has your muse been mainly attracted to masculinity, femininity, androgyny, or an even split (between two, many, or all of the options specified)?

3. has your muse been mainly attracted to men, women, non-binary people, another identity not specified, or an even split (between two, many, or all of the options specified)?

4. does your muse find any specific features particularly attractive?

2.

There's an inclination to say that she's "into people". Gender is either secondary or irrelevant since she sees attractiveness in all people. But it kind of depends on the actual individual. Like how she might be into Salter on one hand, but not someone who looks like but doesn't act like her.

3.

There's an argument to be made that by way of exposure, she's had more chances to be attracted to women. Seems to be the nature of her location and profession, but again. The gender doesn't really matter so long as the person themself is attractive to her.

4.

Iris likes a good heart and a strong sense of self. Ironic since that's what she's trying to cultivate for herself, but it's from a place of longing that she wants to see it in others. Someone who knows what they're about and how to get it. Someone who can look past her quirks and struggles and see her for who she is.

Being a bit on the softer side helps too. She's a bit of a hugger.

[susannaius]

Pretension

Ok, so I loved EVERYTHING about this episode, starting with THIS:

Just look at his face. How horrified he is. This is the first time he might realise that there is actually something wrong with him. He wants to contradict his father, he wants it so much, and he physically cannot. And the first part of it? Plagg is right behind him, so while he is there, he cannot see Adrien's face, cannot see the absolute distress he is in (while he is already used to Adrien musing about contradicting his father but not acting on it). Adrien is so ALONE.

The only upside is that the situation will not last long, because Marinette will storm in, enclose him in an embrace, and reassuring him that she will always be there for him. I really loved how Gorilla simply let her did it. Not that I'm surprised, especially after we were reassured earlier in the episode that he is in Adrien's corner.

Also, Marinette is absolute queen in this episode. After Gabe accuses her that she is in "love" with Adrien only for the fame and the connections (which a lot of Marinette salters do anyway), and in general does his best to break off her wings, she makes the most of the situation by 1. leaving the situation without choosing one bad thing or another, 2. still reassuring Adrien she is there, and 3. handing Gabe's ass to him on the pancake front. As soon as she is out of view, she deserves a little meltdown, as a treat.

In the meantime, Tomoe is being a total bitch. If anyone had any doubts whether she cares about her daughter, know we know for sure. And what kind of twisted person would say that wanting to feel love and feel loved, and letting other to have the same is being "slaves to their feelings"? What the actual ever giving fuck?

And this is topped by Felix coming to her "rescue". My baby boy is trying to express his feelings by stalking and kidnapping the girl she likes! I'm so glad Kagami is calling him out on his bullshit. (And that when he asks for time, she stops swinging the chair, but will not put it down.)

But then, but then... OK, so I tried to keep as spoiler free as possible, but I still ended up getting hints of Feligami. And I was like, huh? How is that possible? How can that work? But then Felix goes and says the one thing that can realistically make self-sufficient, determined, but lonely Kagami fall for him: that he wants to protect her from her mum, and here mum can't talk to her like this?!?

Look at that girl? She is so... soft?!? But alas, this cannot last, guests arrive, and EVERYONE wants to save Kagami! Asasdfasgsdxsgafvgd

The only question is, who does KAGAMI want to save her? Probably not Felix... But then her mum starts shooting arrows at her, so...

Hey, what do you MEAN Felix's father was worse? How worse? Did we know about this? Did Felix get free because his father died? What is happening?

Felix getting romantic in the sewers (the sewer system is such a romantic place, we know that already) - about senti beings. Or is he talking about parents? Who knows? Not me! Not based on this one frame!

And then our heroes arrive and Kagami stands up to them! For Felix! And we get teamwork! Yay!

And it is so bad that when Tomoe is turned back and Ladybug briefly talks to her, we know this is not the end of it. And then Kagami comes and tells her that to follow one's heart is not a weakness! GO KAGAMI! But Kagami is still a dutiful daughter who loves and respects her mum very much...

Please tell me she is not a senti and that is not her amok please tell me she is not a senti and that is not her amok please tell me she is not a senti and that is not her amok please tell me she is not a senti and that is not her amok...

Well, I guess, she is, and it is... (in which case I do hope Felix tells her to keep it safe, and maybe also why, grrrr)

(On a sidenote, you can trust Gabe to promise Natalie that he would spend as much time with Adrien as possible, taking this last chance to be there for him - and then trying to break up him and his girlfriend, and announcing to send Adrien off to London. Of course, that can only be expected. Ugh.)

OMG WHAT A RIDE

(One more thing: when I first read the sentiadrien thing I was so angry, and when I first read the "all the rich kids are sentis" thing I was like no, that cannot be true... But all these things happening, and Felix being like this... it makes total sense if all the rich kids are sentis, while none if not, unless there is a totally different solutions... and this is the biggest red herring of the history of animation.)

[anime-bxuty]

Hm, okay, what about Anzu/Sayaka? They were fun to play with before.

Sayaka, I'll admit is probably going to work better. My muse for her is higher. If I'm being honest, my Danganronpa muses that my mood is high is Hiyoko. Can't tell you why thought. Also Okita from fate, and Salter. Salter is always fun.

[saltcrs]

INTRODUCING.

.*･｡ﾟ ━ ( michael b. jordan / cis man / he/him ) i think i just saw BASTIAN 'BAS' SALTERS on the subway. the 37 year old PART TIME MSG ANALYST & HOBBYIST has been living on cornelia street for THREE YEARS. bas' friends know him to be steadfast, driven, & focused , but he has a reputation on cornelia street for being reticent, soft-spoken, & obsessive . when i see bas , i can’t help but think of notebooks filled with neat slanted writing, slowly sipping an espresso in the sunlight, and soft piano in the early morning hours ! in fact , i sometimes i think i hear 'TIS THE DAMN SEASON (muse b) when he walks by !

MUSE B in 'TIS THE DAMN SEASON.

they were the quintessential ‘ will they, won’t they? ’ pair that everyone always knew were going to work out. plans of forever and hushed ‘ i love yous ’ rested on the tips of their tongue, but dreams get bigger and town gets smaller, and time does what time always does. they built big lives apart. JULIAN ( @julicn ) hit the west coast while BAS found a life in new york city , now , life has brought them to the same city, on the same street, and the road not taken looks real good right now.

HIGHLIGHTS.

now-retired nhler ( lifer-rangers defenseman ), now residing on cornelia street and figuring out the next chapter of his life ; currently a part-time analyst with msg networks, reporting on rangers games ; works with youth hockey programs regularly ; otherwise dabbles in a variety of hobbies ( writing, piano, baking ) as well as occasionally taking on unpaid handyman type tasks ; characterized first and foremost by the intensity he approached any task or thing he loves ; all or nothing ; a reassuring presence, when he speaks it's often thoughtful and eloquent.

ABOUT.

— TARRYTOWN, NEW YORK : 25 miles north of new york city, a major stop on the hudson commuter line into the city, one city on the ends of the tappen zee bridge, population just shy of twelve thousand, home to the new york rangers' practice facility . . . and home to bastian james salters. bas was born in michigan though he did not stay there long, barely remembering his first grade days interrupted by a move east, spurred on by a promotion for his mother in her architecture firm. the city had proven too expensive, and the allure of a big backyard had been enough for them to choose the little suburb instead.

— maybe bas still would have grown his love for hockey in snowy michigan too, but it was the move that had his parents signing him up for various youth sports in an attempt to both feed his need for constant movement and to help him make friends. even at seven, bas took it all in stride : football, baseball, soccer, basketball, and hockey — and it was hockey that would eventually come to dictate his life.

— even as a child bas had an unchildlike obsession with everything he did. he fell in love with hockey : the ice, the speed, the feeling when you're skating. even if hockey did not always love him back. it was an expensive sport, and though the salters saved money by not living in the city, they still struggled at times to make ends meet. not as much as most, but bas learned early on that he was going to have to provide his own financial support for his dreams — his parents were supportive, even if they had tried to gently persuade him toward a more certain career path than nhler.

— a big moment for him was being recruited to play college D1 hockey at boston university. maybe he wasn't getting the full ride some of his teammates were, but bas was still proud of the step that it meant. he supplemented the balance of his tuition with additional scholarships and a few loans, never one to back down from anything. that following summer he received another surprise : getting drafted to the rangers, the hometown team ( in the third round, but still significant ).

— bas played out his four full years at BU, earning his degree in communications at the same time. leading up to graduation ( class of 2008 ), in fact plaguing much of his senior year, was a looming crossroads choice : sign with the rangers to follow a ( still significant long shot ) dream of a lifetime, or to hang up his skates against professional hockey to follow his second love and pursue building a different career. he chose hockey.

— he spend two and a half years playing for the rangers' ahl affiliate, the hartford wolfpack, before finally getting his nhl debut at age 24. that marked what would becoming his career-long time with the blueshirts, 11 full seasons in all, finally coming to an end with the 2021-22 season.

— it was a tough choice to end his professional career, but listening to his body, a serious of head injuries, and a few other factors lead him to hang up the skates. this last 1+ year has been his first year without the schedule and rhythm of the nhl in quite some time and in some ways, he feels like he's trying to find his way again.

PRESENT DAY.

— bas has lived in a townhouse on cornelia street for about three years, though he's lived in the city since 2010. the move to cornelia street was mostly motivated after there was a fire in the store he lived over, leading to a significant amount of smoke damage. it just seemed easier to move and he wasn't terribly attached to the place anywhere. for this first year of residence, he was gone for long stretches during the season given the needs of said season, but he's developed stronger relationships with those on the street in the past year or so !!

— he's not one to really flaunt the small degree of fame he might be entitled to. he's had to work hard for every inch he gained and the process has kept him exceedingly humble. to many, he's just a neighbor, unless any of them happen to recognize him from his hockey endeavors.

— since his retirement a year and a half ago, bas has bounced between a large number of things to fill his time, unsure of where his post-retirement will take him. a love of hockey still permeates his entire being; however, and so when msg networks came calling, offering him a part-time analyst position, bas jumped at the opportunity to stay engaged and close to the team. now, you can see him every few rangers msg broadcasts in the pre, post, and intermission shows. he is also very engaged with various youth hockey organizations in the city ( relationships built during his active career, and now able to dedicate even more time to them ), especially those that work with black, lgbtq+, and other under-served/marginalized communities.

— he's also been picking up various hobbies as they interest him that he didn't necessarily have time to pursue : writing, reading, piano, baking, and a great love for coffee ( well, that last one he was able to maintain during his professional career ). and well... anything that catches his eye that seems interesting.

— while he hardly... advertises his handyman services, bas does have a very good ability for handyman type jobs, and he's quick to offer to help. and just as quick to turn down any compensation for said work. a dripping faucet ?? drafty window ?? especially in those months when labor might be weeks off, he's more than happy to help !!

— his townhouse is a bit of a mishmash of furniture, no particular style except for cozy. lots of warm tones. he does keep it well maintained and neat; however, as he cannot function in messy spaces.

— he has his own little gym in his townhouse where he can work out in peace, and while he doesn't maintain quite the same physique he did while he played, he's certainly in very good shape still. in fair weather months, you can often see him going for runs in central park ( and then promptly buying a smoothie when he's finished ).

— bas tries to keep a good schedule of his days, though his commitments are varying ( though that is not so different from his life as a player either and in a way was a little comforting ). he's had little trouble filling his days, though routine remains a bit elusive as does his long term plan. but that's okay.

— frequents cafes, animal shelters, various rinks, central park, walks in the city, trying out new foods but also loves a nearby dumpling place like no tomorrow.

PERSONALITY.

+ steadfast, driven, & focused - reticent, soft-spoken, & obsessive

— bas has always been characterized first and foremost by the intensity he approached any task or thing he loved with. always all or nothing. it is a trait to endears some and intimidates others. with time and age, bas' approachability has improved drastically.

— his voice is always softer than people expect, though he speaks with an honest, eloquent tone ; thoughtful in what he says, in a way that when he played, made people listen when he spoke because he wasted so few words.

— a bit of a reassuring presence : strong without needed to really flaunt it. reliable in tough situations and rarely one to lose his temper. has a tendency to approach any situation head-on, often skipping right to the problem solving stage rather than any of the emotional onsets that should've come first.

— deeply observant and able to connect dots easily : another thing that has come in handy with his part time msg analyst position, and one that has prompted some to question if he's ever thought of going into coaching in his post-career.

— passionate about his stances when he does have them. they are often well-argued, heavily supported, and hard to refute. he attacks arguments with logic and in general, does not really busy himself with emotional outbursts.

— despite this, does think he is very in tune with his emotions. his logical and head-on approaches have little to do with tamping down his feelings, but an ability to recognize them and deal with them quickly. he's getting far too old to deal with roundabout nature of things.

MISC.

— played defense : a very physical and classic ' stay at home ' style. reliable, integral to the powerplay, hard to get past, delivered heavy and solid hits, a good passer to initiate break outs.

— bas worked odd jobs and ends as soon as he was able to secure them, every penny going toward new hockey gear. he picked up a rather large variety of skills in those days, something that would come in clutch later — meaning he rarely ever calls a handyman.

— has a very expensive espresso machine.

— lactose intolerant

— bas' kitchen skills are a little less well-oiled than his coffee making skills, but he's more than adequate at it. he enjoys cooking, especially when someone is in the kitchen to keep him company and with the time he seemingly has on his hands now, branching out into more complicated recipes seems like a good idea.

— baking is also something he's been pursuing a bit more furiously. interested in making delicious dairy-free and vegan recipes ( not vegan himself, but knows those allergic to eggs ).

— does not currently have a dog, but will probably get around to adopting one soon. definitely frequents and volunteers at nearby animal shelters.

— never won the cup. closest he came was 2014 cup finals against the kings. he attended julian's cup party that summer though.

APPEARANCE.

— 6'1", 213 lbs — often sporting stubble, hair seesaws between a buzz cut and then being grown out and braided. it really depends on his mood. currently, a buzz cut. — wardrobe : casual but well-fitting and simple, elegant clothing. a lot of muted and dark colors. always well put-together street style. — far too many scars to explain — modifications : piercings in both ears, no tattoos — demeanor : often comes across serious and thoughtful, very still in his poise but still comes across prepared for movement than truly relaxed, not precious with his smiles, a comfortable presence — quirks : furrowing his brow, licking his lips, tapping his foot to the beat of music

OOC.

hi everyone !! i'm ollie ( 24, est, they/them ). i'm super excited to write with you all 💕

[scifielves]

"Very well then. Continue your squabble if you must."

scifielves​:

“You two are making me out to be some sort of common whore. I won’t stand for it.”

“I assure you, other me. This is an honorable duel between knights. Our honor will not be stained in this way.”

[gainprincess]

"It won't. She's like a hog, so more slop for the trough is just the norm."